The dark side

This week I decided to do my topic on the dark side of relationships (abuse) that was part of Chapter 11, because it tied into a real life situation that involved one of my daughter's coworkers, that happened recently.  According to this chapter, an abusive relationship is one where a person becomes aggressive toward their partner, whether it's verbal abuse or physical abuse;  either type is damaging to a relationship.  In my opinion, this is a subject that can not be easily discussed with anyone when you are the one that is the victim of one or more of these abuses.  It's like a "dirty little secret", and usually the victim is too embarrassed  or humiliated to get out of the relationship or to seek help, because the perpetrator has insidiously berated and "broken down" their self-esteem and wellness, and made them feel like everything and every problem in their relationship is their fault.  This is because the one that's the abuser usually is insecure, has a low self esteem, anger issues, or grew up in an environment where they, themselves, witnessed abuse.  It makes me wonder, that even though the laws involving domestic violence have become much more stricter compared to the past, that this issue is  still prevalent in our society, and what more could we do to prevent these acts from occurring?  Do you think, like I do, that there should be courses on anger management incorporated into our schools' curriculum, starting at a young age like elementary school, to help children deal with their anger issues before they escalate into their adult years and they can cause severe physical or emotional damage to someone else?  I learned from the text, on table 11.1 on page 392, about the different types of abuses and the causes , such as control issues, jealously, aggressiveness, alcohol abuse, marital discord, etc.  I also wish I could ask the authors of this text, why are there people that are perpetrators of violence but yet  have come from supportive parents?  From what I understand about abuse issues, is that they only don't happen in our culture, but many other cultures, as well, throughout our world.  Upon reading this information from our text and how it coincides with my daughter's coworker, it really makes me want  to further my education and devote my time to helping these people that have 'identiy ussues".

The real life situation of my daughter's coworker is that this woman is in her late 40's or early 50's and has been with her husband since she was 17.  There has been many different verbal and minor physical incidences that has been inflicted on her throughout their lifetime, however, this last one was the "straw that broke  the camels back" so to speak.  He came home in the early morning hours after a heavy night of drinking with some of his family members, and when he entered their apartment the dog growled at him; well that really set him off and he went into the bedroom and woke up his wife; she got up and he proceeded to slam her head up against the wall, causing damage to her hearing.  She now has to apply medicinal drops to her ear and the doctors say that they don't know if she will get all of her hearing back in that ear.   One of the worse aspects of this situation is that her 22 year old daughter slammed her into the sliding glass door, right after her head was slammed into the wall.  Needless to say, is that, both the husband and daughter got restraining orders taken out on them.  This woman is such a nice person (I've met her), and I don't understand this abuse she has to go through from both her husband and daughter.  Luckily, her son is a lot like her and has a very good job in the Seattle area, and he was able to come up to Bellingham and stay with her and lend  his supprt over this very difficult time.

So, in conclusion, I would like to know why her daughter would help her father commit such a violence act  against her, but, yet her son would travel such a great distance to be near her  and  help support her.